In 1975, women were not permitted to wear pants in the accounting office where I worked at the San Francisco Airport.  At the time, there was a movement to change that.  I was not involved with the movement but I strongly supported it.  I don't remember if it was an internal policy but the law changed and it was probably a state or federal law that told employers they could no longer discriminate against women.

The first day I wore pants at the office the controller, a newcomer to the company, was furious.   We had a few words and he called the CEO and took  me to his office for evaluation.  I was mortified.  I tried to hold back the tears and it did not work.  I was angry that he saw me crying.  I was angry at myself for crying.  I could not work the rest of the day and I went home early.

The ride home was not easy either.  I wanted to scream out loud and angry at myself for losing control of my emotions.  I was angry at this jerk of a boss who had control over me.

The following day my right arm wa paralyzed. 

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This paper is not about the shocking description of child abuse.  We know it exists.  We know that some children die at the hand of authority.  I am writing this story for the purpose of education.  I am writing this for those children that barely survived severe trauma. 

We have a dreadful history of ignorance on this subject.  I am sorry if I repeat this a few times in this story.

However, for fairness to my readers I need to describe some incidents and I promise to be brief. 

The most damaging incident and one that began the process of repressed memories occurred in the basement of our home.  Someone was burried in the dirt floor of the basement and it was most likely me.  I awoke in an upstairs bedroom where a priest was praying for me.  I received the last sacraments.  I was seven years old.

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Oprah
Oprah and post traumatic stress. 

Oprah's last television talk show was Wednesday, May 25, 2011.  Millions of viewers witnessed her reaction to the portrait of herself as a young child of 4 or 5 years old.  Oprah choked and fought back the tears.  She could not speak for several seconds.

A person with repressed memories abandoned a young child.  This is what repressed memories is about.  We forget the incident (s) and leave the child behind.  Even thought we forget the child, it is still on the subconscious mind.  We feel terribly guilty for the child left behind.  It hurts - physically hurts inside.

My guess is that the driving force behind Oprah is her prominse to the child she left behind.

Often, people with repressed memories of severe taumas spent a life time making up for the child left behind - because that child did not escape the traumas  I know I have.     

 
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