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Exactly thirty
years ago this year, (2005) I discovered I had repressed memories. Today, I feel
very fortunate to be here to tell my story.
This web site
is about understanding repressed memory. I want
people to understand what repressed memories are and I want people
to know that despite the past publicity, the controversy, the
mystery surrounding amnesia and repressed memory, it a real phenomenon.
First and foremost, I want to make it
clear that I don't consider repressed memories a disorder. To
call it a disorder puts a label on a person who in reality found a tool
to survive insurmountable situations. This is creativity - not a
disorder and it should be treated as such.
If one finds it necessary to label
anyone, it should be the one who don't understand the process and
attempt to address it in such a manner as to cause damage to the person.
Lack
of
knowledge,
misunderstanding and controversy hurt victims
of severe trauma. Too often victims are re-victimized by
"experts."
They are mis-diagnosed, mismedicated and at times
permanently damaged by incompetence in the medical field.
For my children
For they could not
understand
It
was early nineties
when I read an interview of one of our local psychologists in a
Northern
California magazine. The interview was about the psychologist and
her first encounter with a client she felt had repressed
memories. (She diagnosed as multiple personalities)
By
her own
account the
psychologist, Dr. Trula LaCalle of Sebastopol, California, did not know
what to do. She
went in
search of another therapist to consult with her and finally,
after she made call after call, she turned up Dr. Paula Reynolds,
a Santa Barbara consulting psychologist. According to Dr.
LaCalle,
they went over the list of her patient's symptoms and Dr. Reynolds
assisted LaCalle in the first session of hypnosis. Then, Dr. LaCalle
was on her own and continued "treating" the patient, "despite her
uncertainty".
From
this
experience,
continued LaCalle, she went on to treat other patients and a few years
later she was a top expert on the issue of repressed memory,
giving lectures and advising therapists from all over.
(Dr.
LaCalle
wrote a
book about her experience "Voices" )
Reading
this was
chilling. Tears filled my eyes and I did not know why at first.
Only after
I could analyze the rush of emotions that filled my heart did I
comprehend the value of the magazine interview and how this article
related to me.
I
had been working with repressed memories for more than fifteen years
when I read the article and for the first time, a professional admitted
what I
had known for a long time. They did not understand
repressed memory. Doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists,
therapists, they were treating people and they did not know what they
were doing. They did not understand or
recognize a person with repressed memory.
I
speak from experience and I can categorically say that I would not be
here today had I followed the experts' judgments. Reading the
magazine interview gave me courage and it validated what I already
knew. I could not depend on anyone else. I was
alone.
Here
are the consequences of Incompetence
I
knew that if I wanted to survive this, I had to
develop a plan and depend on myself only. I worked hard,
so very hard. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three
hundred sixty five days a year. Non-stop, sometimes discouraging
hard work year after year. I seemed to find the highest
mountains to climb, only to find more obstacles on the other side.
I persisted because I knew I would make it. Only, I did not know
how
long and how difficult it would be.
To
begin to
understand the mechanism of Amnesia, Repressed Memory, Post
Traumatic Stress, follow my steps to the following link:
Understanding
Repressed Memories
An
incredible story
Continued . . . .
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